Friendship, a Priceless Gift!

To have a friend, not just any friend, but an intimate friend, is a priceless gift from the Lord!  They are very few and I believe only created and designed by God.  He gives us just the person, the friendship, we need to help us survive this earthly world.  Intimate friends are the ones who step up even when it is difficult.  They are there to lift you AND to give you a quick but gentle kick in the pants!  They are your most treasured and cherished of friends.  During this month of love, be sure to show appreciation to your BFF, your Bestie, your treasured friend!  They may not be around forever...

This has been one of the toughest weeks in my life.  I have done what I thought was the impossible, and in my diligence, God provided the strength.  He always does!  Life is filled with hard decisions, difficult relationships, and unforeseen events.  That’s what makes life…life.  And at the end of life, all that is really remembered seems to be how well or badly you seemed to manage your own life, your circle of friends, and your contributions.  No one can remember your vulnerable moments, deepest yearnings, or your most tender and sincere love unless it is shared by a friend.    

February is the month in which we celebrate love and friendship!  Around 1988, a new friendship was being formed, which later developed and grew to be my once closest friend.  Little did I know, the day she waltzed into the music store and education center where I worked, that my life had now been changed forever.  God was beginning to enhance my life with many inspirational times shared with her in a Bible study group, conversations over lunch or lattes, and many hours on the phone every morning at 7 am as we both headed to work.  She took me to my first symphony!  During our visits we listened intently when the other spoke, we laughed immensely over our quirkiness and how we were so much alike, we prayed for one another, shared meals, and encouraged one another as we shared our dreams of the future.  She was the friend that knew me better than I know myself.  Our friendship was very close, much like the friendship shared by David and Jonathan in the Bible.

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Three weeks ago, Kathy posted about the gift of friendship and the difficult loss of our friend and her mentor.  Little did I know that she and I would experience the same heartbreak, in less than a month apart, and that God would be directing me to write almost the same thing.  Kathy encouraged us to tell our friends how much they mean to us.  I had that awesome privilege (once again) to express my love to my close friend, and mentor, before she took her last breath Monday, a week ago.  A few years ago, my close friend listened to my idea of a Fingerprint Party in which I would honor the people who had impacted me and left their fingerprints on the canvas of my life.  I wrote a special song for the occasion and my friend was the first to hear it as we sat together in my music studio and I sang and played the piano.  We wept together.  The words were written with her and a few other closest friends in mind.    

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You Gave
Composed for you by Sherry Barron
Copyright - April 25, 2009

You gave, you gave.  You gave yourself unselfishly, giving of yourself to me.
You gave.  You gave -  time and time to meet my need,
while leaving all your fingerprints on me.

Each fingerprint is unique in its design.
God knew the path you must take to let it cross with mine...then …

You gave, you gave.  You gave yourself so graciously doing what was best for me.
You gave, sweet words to help me learn to spread my wings,
I’m embracing all your fingerprints on me.

You took the risk finding words were hard to speak;
those words of wisdom that always helped when I felt weak.
        
We’ve laughed and cried and shared our dreams
Had tea and hugged and prayed for things.
When life is hard you’re there right by my side.

Each print, you leave with gifts and talents of your own
are seeds of love to me you’ve sown.
I’m blessed - indeed!  To offer you this special day,
because you left your fingerprints on me.

Each print you’ve left is a priceless work of art.
This song of “thanks” is forever embedded on my heart!

You gave, you gave.  You gave yourself unselfishly, giving of yourself to me.
You gave.  You gave - time and time to meet my need,
while leaving all your fingerprints on me.

Thank You!

My Fingerprint Party - April 2009

As I look now at the group picture, three leave only memories behind.  Treasured memories and examples of a life of love, faith, hope and excellence are all that is left.  They lived life well and I have learned much from them.  Lessons that I will not secretly embrace but share with those whom God allows our paths to cross, birthing new friendships and cultivating them. 

There is nothing quite like a special bond between true friends; and words can never be adequately expressed, hugs cannot be tight enough, and the moments together are always too short.  It is only when eyes pierce deeply through the surface and into the soul that the heart of a friend understands unspeakable love. 

This week I am reminded of many examples of true friendship in God’s Word:  Elijah and Elisha (2 Kings 2:2), Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1: 16,17), Daniel and his 3 buddies: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel) Jesus, Mary Martha and Lazarus (Luke), Elizabeth and Mary, mother of Jesus (Luke), David and Jonathan (1 Samuel 18), Job and his friends (Job 2), and so many others.  There are over 100 scripture verses pertaining to friendship.  I believe God takes friendship seriously.  
                           John 15:13  "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." 

                          John 15:14-16  "You are My friends if you do what I command you. "No longer do I call you slaves, for            the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you."You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.…"

                           1 John 3:16  "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters."

I’d like to share some insight from Charles Swindoll’s book David - A Man of Passion and Destiny from chapter 20.

David was a man of many friends.  During the stage of his life when Absalom’s conspiracy blossomed, David's heart was broken and he felt like he didn’t have a friend in the world.  In 2 Samuel 15:14 he indicates the only thing left to do was to flee.  It was then that God sent many friends to David to encourage his heart:  Ittai the Gittite, Zadok, Abiathar, Hushai, Shobi, Machir, Brazillai, and Joab.  It was the ministry of these friends that lifted David and encouraged him when he seemed to bottom out.  I encourage you to do a little study on these characters to discover the life and ministry they had in David's life.  David was blessed with many who loved him, but I’m not sure that anyone loved him quite like Jonathan.  That was a close friendship!  My prayer for you is that you share in a special intimate friendship.  It is love in the richest form, sweet, and indescribable. Our friends help lift us and are there no matter what time of the day or night they are called upon.  True friendship is sacrificial! 

                         “Friendship is where we find the hands of God ministering, encouraging, giving, and supporting.” 

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According to Swindoll, friendship boils down to four things (quoted below):    

• Friends are not optional: they’re essential. There is no substitute for a friend – someone to care, to listen, to feel, to comfort, and, yes, occasionally, to reprove.  True friends do that best.  
• Friends are not automatic; they must be cultivated.  The Bible says, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly” (Prov. 18:24)  Samuel Johnson wrote:  “One should keep his friendship in a constant repair.”  As with trees, friendship needs cultivation. 
• Friends are not neutral; they impact our lives.  If your friends lead good lives, they encourage you to become a better person,  If your friends lead disreputable lives, they lead you down the same path – or worse.  Scripture says, “Be not deceived:  Bad company corrupts good morals” (1 Corin. 15:33).  Choose your friends carefully and wisely.    
• Friendships come in varying degrees, some of whom play more significant roles in our life than others.  We have many acquaintances, som casual friends, several close friends, and few intimate friends.  Causal friends have common interest and more contact.  Close friends are those with whom we share similar life goals and discuss the hard questions; socialize, vacation with, or do projects together.  Intimate friends are those few people with whom we have regular contact and a deep commitment.  We are not only open and vulnerable with them, but a trust and mutual understanding has been established between them.        
  

All of these levels of friendship are important, but one who shares an intimate friendship is one who shares in the most important friendship of all.  It is one of transparency, honesty, offers support and encouragement, and yes, even hard truths and confrontation.  It is our friends that act as the face of God, the hands of God, the arms of God, and help us hear the voice of God.  David was blessed with many friends; likewise, God has blessed me well with numerous friends on many levels.  Friendship can be manifested in our family and in a spouse, each friend is special on different levels, but there is nothing quite like the friendship between two individuals that God has ordained to become true intimate friends.  They are often few!  I wonder, are you an intimate friend to someone or just a casual one?  Are you willing to open up to be used by God or perhaps on the other end, to be filled and blessed by God through the priceless gift of friendship?

Remember, a friendship must be cultivated and an intimate friendship is sacrificial.  Are you willing to sacrifice your time, interject wisdom when you aren’t sure how they will respond, fill a physical or emotional need, spend moments together being silly and laughing or just be a listening ear without speaking your mind?    How do you cultivate your friendships?  How does God display His friendship to you through others?  We are to be a friend to others as Jesus is our friend.  Have you thought about what that looks like?  Would you be willing to continue serving as a friend even though you may never get anything in return?  Jesus is that kind of friend...the kind that has laid down His life for you! (John 3:16)

As I rushed to the hospital Monday, Kathy met me to be my side.  She even left me a voice message just before I got there to let me know she was there to offer me a hug and a shoulder.  Her evening plans took second place as she sacrificially took time to be with me.  She has checked on me and loved on me…as a true friend does.  I'm sure I will find myself crying on her shoulder as time drifts and I long for the sweet friendship of days past.  This week, Jesus has shown up in the face and voice of many.  I have gained strength from the ministering hands of the faithful and those that I love and consider my special friends.  There is no dearer friend than Jesus and I’m grateful that His spirit is alive in those whom I call friend.   

This hymn tune came to my mind yesterday as I was struggling to attend a party, run errands, and simply exist!  I hope that you will find comfort in these words written by Will L. Thompson - Jesus is All the World to Me
I've given you the sheet music incase you can read music.  It is public domain!  Notice the scripture verses.  Take a moment to read through all four verses.

Sherry & Sherlene Friends 1988 - 2014

Kathy, Jan, Sherry, Wanda, & Sherlene celebrating my 50th birthday with a tea party of course!

My mentor, confidant, encourager and prayer partner!

My close friend, Sherlene T. Carruth.  As the book closed her final chapter of life, I will always remember her as one who faithfully prayed for me, believed I could accomplish my dreams, mentored me, laughed with me, cried with me, and questioned me until I found understanding.  Her greatest desire was to know Christ fully and she looked forward to His coming.  Kathy and I shared the friendship of this lady of grace and beauty.  Our lives have been impacted by her love for the Lord and how she beautifully displayed and bestowed His love on those with whom she came in contact.  She was a friend of God.  What kind of memories and friendship will others have remembered of you? 

Friends Forever,
Sherry

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