Today we would like to welcome Kelley Fauchaux as our guest blogger. Kelley has participated in many of our retreats and loves serving others and the Lord! As she continues to trust and hear from the Lord, Kelley faithfully responds in obedience and seeks to serve Him wholeheartedly. We think you will enjoy hearing a fresh voice today through today's Monday Musing. Please welcome Kelley's insight as she shares her heart about feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.
No matter how old we are, all of us have a little girl inside. When does yours show up? Mine shows up this time of year when I hear Christmas music and remember caroling in the neighborhood with my friends and family. She also reveals herself when someone says a cross word and she wants to retreat inside her room like she did when she was criticized by her mom for not being pretty or talented enough.
I’ve spent many of my grown up years trying to protect my “little girl.” She wasn’t confident as a child. She would put on a strong front at times, but felt consistently insecure. As an adult, I learned to overcome these insecurities by becoming a people pleaser and a perfectionist. Never wanting to disappoint anyone. If I felt like I let someone down, my “little girl” would remind me of the feelings I had that I was never good enough no matter how hard I tried. These feelings remained constant throughout my life.
| Then came Jesus. I accepted Christ when I was forty years old. I always went to church and believed in God, but it was with my “little girl” mentality. I followed all of the rules of my religion, trying to be good and please God - trying to be perfect. But when I began to look past the rules and the guilt driven way I was trying to get God to love me, my life changed. "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40: 1,2 |  |
God began speaking to me through Psalm 40:1-2. He began lifting me out of my pit of self-doubt and insecurity. I began to understand that I was His “little girl.” He began telling me who I truly was. That I was His. That He created me in His image and I was perfect in His sight. I did not have to please Him by what I did or how I looked. There was no judgement or condemnation. He loved me and had loved me all along!
As my “little girl” started allowing Him to love her, my adult self started to grow. I began to believe in myself and became more confident. I embraced who God created me to be and stopped trying to please others. 1 Peter 3:4 began growing inside of me – “Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”
I slowly began to feel more beautiful on the inside. I began to realize who God truly created me to be and embraced those qualities. I began to ignore the negative voices my “little girl” heard so often and replaced them with the words of my Father, “You are altogether beautiful my darling, there is no flaw in you.” Song of Solomon 4:7
I have learned to see myself in God’s eyes. Still imperfect but loved. I’ve forgiven those who hurt my “little girl” knowing they too struggled with their own insecurities. I now pray that they would know the love of Jesus and find the same peace that I have found.
| There are still times when my “little girl” wants to return, but those days occur less often. But when she appears, I now tell her, “It’s OK, Little Girl, He loves us just the way we are.” ~ Kelley Fauchaux |  |
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