 The Lord has always used music to speak to my heart. Last week as I was driving, the song Don’t Let Me Lose My Wonder by Keith and Kristen Getty came on my CD player. As I listened to the words I suddenly began to weep. Tears of longing, remembrance, sorrow and joy began to rush over me. It had been a full week of ministry to my mom who is progressing in alzheimer disease. Along the way, there are many testings for patience as she repeats herself and can’t hold on to any new information, but also there are blessings of sweet times together. As mom’s disease progresses she has slowed down, way down. This woman who was always the spark of energy and laughter in a crowd has become a woman whose steps are slow, who is hesitant for fear of exposing her weaknesses. I’ve noticed lately that she is taken up in wonder with things that I barely notice. The progression of this horrible disease where memory is slowly taken away brings the one stricken back to many childlike qualities. I remember the progression with my husbands mother as well. Mom still remembers all the wonderful stories of her childhood, and tells me often, although she can’t remember what she ate for dinner. When I picked her up to take her out to get her hair done and later to the grocery and lunch she kept talking about how blue the sky was. I hadn’t noticed. When we drive about town she always talks about how beautiful and white the clouds are. I had barely noticed. When we walked into Fresh Market she was filled with excitement over the flowers - especially the roses.  Roses from my garden  Mom had a rose garden when I was growing up and we always had fresh cut roses in our home. I learned to love gardening from her. Now I have roses all over my garden. Mom has lost her sense of smell - a symptom of the disease, but she still finds such delight in flowers. She also suddenly loves desserts - just like a child. We exited the grocery store with 2 dozen roses - 1 for her, 1 for me (she insisted) always being extremely generous and a star of Bethlehem plant which she just had to have because she had never seen one before, and 3 packages of desserts! We spent at least an hour in the store looking at everything, slowly taking it all in. Sampling the coffee, the coffee cake, pondering over the food at the deli, all the flowers, fruits and vegetables.  Mom's Star of Bethlehem Plant After lunch as we walked out, I looked behind me impatiently trying to get her to move a little faster so we could get to the car. But Mom was slowly making her way out, speaking to people as she left and stopping to ”oo” and “ah” over every child along the way. I smiled. This disease has slowed her down and because of it the Lord is teaching me that I must slow down as well - not just for her, but for me. As mom slows down she takes things and people in. She’s filled with wonder and she takes time to experience it all - God’s creation - the beauty, the children, the sky, the flowers, His people... And she’s still teaching me. Jesus is teaching me. Slow down...... Wonder........ All week, I kept replaying the song about wonder. It was a busy week of appointments and errands. I always play music in the car because I love it and it helps my stress level in Baton Rouge traffic! As I listened to the lyrics the Lord brought me back to the lessons mom was teaching me, to childhood memories, and to people the Lord has woven into my life to show me how to live my days for Jesus with grace. Take a moment now and listen to “Lord, Don’t Let Me Lose My Wonder”  (Verse 1) I've seen days melt into nights in circles of lights, I've watched a spider spin a star between the window box flowers, I've heard you laugh and cry in a single sigh, and a story form within. Don't let me lose my wonder. Don't let me lose my wonder. (Verse 2) I saw her broken dreams inside but helping others fly, I saw his eyes without a doubt though other lights faded out, And though her calling roared such graciousness poured From the vision of her soul. Don't let me lose my wonder. Don't let me lose my wonder.  (Verse 3) A baby cried through the dark beneath a jeweled spark, I knew Your voice upon the hill and heard my lostness still, I found my home in the light where wrong was made right  And You rose as the Morning Star. Don't let me lose my wonder Don't let me lose my wonder. lyrics by Keith Getty The first verse brought me back to my childhood. I was blessed to grow up on acreage with a lake. It was usually quiet except for the bullfrogs at night! I often sat under the big cypress trees by the lake and looked up at the skies God painted each day and pondered the greatness and beauty of His creation. I sensed the magnificence and power of God there and the Lord met me in the stillness. I would often stay out as the day melted into night and the stars began to shimmer. But, I don’t have to be a child to take in His beauty. Creation is a window through which we see our Creator. The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Psalm 19:1 NIV 
Lord, slow me down. Don’t let me lose my wonder, not for the sake of wonder itself, but to lead me to reflect and respond to the majesty and glory of who You are. Lord, don’t let me lose my wonder - for in it I learn what it means to be Your child. I learn what it means to worship. I experience the gifts You pour out each day. Please give me your eyes to see and fill my mind with Your perspective so that I become lost in wonder, amazed at Your grace, astounded at the depth of Your mercy and convinced of Your unending generosity and lavish love in my life. The tears really began to flow as she began to sing the 2nd verse. The day before I had brought a meal to a friend stricken with disease. This women has deeply enriched my life through her words of faith, wisdom, and creativity. She is an amazing woman of vision. She was very tired that day. Speech has become very difficult, but she wrote on her tablet of how she had been sharing a book entitled The Work of His Hands by Ken Gire with a young woman she was mentoring. She reminded me that she had first seen the book on my coffee table years ago. Tears flowed..... I saw her broken dreams inside but helping others fly..... My friend was helping others fly in the midst of her personal, physical struggle. And though her calling roared, such graciousness flowed from the vision of her soul...... Lord, don’t let me lose my wonder..... Then came the last verse. A baby, a Savior on a cross....... Oh Lord never let me take for granted the mystery that you chose to send your Son to become a baby born in a humble manger and live and die on the cross for my sin. It is wonder that leads to worship. We worship Jesus not only for who He is but for what He has done. Are you still amazed in wonder at the sacrifice Jesus made for you to become His child? It’s so easy in the busyness and demands of life to lose our awe and wonder at the mystery of God, our Savior Jesus, and the Holy Spirit within us!  He is our Creator You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being. Rev. 4:11  He is our Redeemer In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace. Ephesians 1:7 This week my husband Ken and I were asked to provide the music for the funerals of the mother’s of two very dear friends. It is always such a privilege for me to have the honor of bringing hope and focus on Christ through music at these services. Funerals can bring so many emotions, especially when life has been long and rich in love. We grieve at the loss, yet rejoice in the blessings of long life and the hope of heaven where there is no more sickness or pain. Ministering to my friends in the loss of their moms made me cherish the time I have left with my own mom even more. I listened to the messages of a life lived serving Christ and testimonies of love, lessons learned and the legacy we leave behind. I left pondering and praying - Lord I want my life to bear fruit for you. Let my life be a testimony of your truth and grace, of service to You like my friends mom. Don’t let me waste the moments, the days you give me. “Over the margins of life comes a whisper, a faint call, a premonition of richer living which we know we are passing by. Strained by the very mad pace of our daily outer burdens, we are further strained by an inward uneasiness, because we have hints that there is a way of life vastly richer and deeper than all this hurried existence, a life of unhurried serenity and peace and power.” Thomas Kelly - A Testament of Devotion 
Are you feeling the need to slow down and experience the wonder of God in new ways? Spend some moments in prayer..... Father, may the greatness and majesty of your creation always lead me to praise You. Help me to sense the sacred in the world around me. To stop, quieten my days of hurry and pause to reflect on the wonder of life in You. Help me to reach for Your Words of life. Help me receive them in whatever form you send because I have not lost my wonder. Help me to respond with your heart of love, mercy, and grace to all who cross my path. Father, please help me pause and reflect in wonder on the lessons you would have me learn from the way others live out their dreams, their everyday moments, and their struggles. Help me learn to show kindness even in the midst of the demands of life. Carve out and mold me into a true reflection of your character. And Lord may I never cease to wonder at the miracle of your Son born in a manger and the victory of the cross. You alone are the one who can shatter the darkness and find us in the confusion, the hopelessness, the broken dreams. May I never cease to wonder that You pursued me and loved me and washed my sin in forgiveness through your blood so that now I can stand in the light of your grace. Lord, may I never lose my wonder in who You are - My Creator, Lamb of God, Redeemer, Savior, and King! “Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength and honor and glory and praise. Revelation 5:12 Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Romans 8:11 NIV Try to take some time today or this week to experience and know the wonder of God's creation, His people and the Savior. May wonder lead you to praise the mystery, majesty and glory of the One who alone is worthy! In awe and wonder of my Lord and Savior, Kathy  If you would like to receive the "Monday Musings" RESTORE blog each week via email, please sign up and enter your email address in the upper right hand corner.
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